The first time I met with one of my now-advisors to discuss possible rotation projects, she asked me quite plainly, “What are you good at?” I remember sort of freezing up inside, utterly blanking on any answer, because I did not think of myself as having any noteworthy skills.

Seeing my expression, my advisor immediately shook her head and said, “No, what do you like to do?” And that initial flood of panic immediately receded. I could easily formulate the types of problems I enjoyed working on, and I happily started rattling them off. As I worked on my rotation project through the semester, I realized she was right—I had never thought of myself as particularly good at the work I enjoyed, but I came to appreciate how my passion for these problems did lead to skills that I had always taken for granted.

This conversation reframed my perspective on how I perceive my capabilities and whether I feel like I am “good enough”. I try to maintain the attitude that as long as I am passionate and invested in what I do, then the dedication and results will follow.

Similarly, this line of thought has changed how I want to define success at the end of my PhD. Rather than being focused on certain metrics that I have often been told to aim for (e.g., publishing in certain journals or developing a tool with n downloads), I will deem my PhD a success if I was able to explore all of the subtopics I wanted to at sufficient depth—whether that be through completing a research project and making a contribution (no matter how small), or developing a tool in a new programming langugage (🦀).

This is perhaps a naïve perspective, and maybe I will feel the effects of this relaxed attitude when it is time for me to go on the job market. After all, it sometimes means I favor research directions that are less hot or hype. But for now, it has made the everyday more exciting and less stressful.